H&S Archive: You're allowed to call yourself a writer...
...even if you don't always feel like one or have no idea if you're any good
This VoiceOver was recorded unedited in my home so there may be a couple of throat clearings and word jumbles along the way, possibly a dog or a cat in the background. Whether it’s something you need or prefer, I hope you enjoy it regardless.
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This post was first published on 28th May 2023.
Hello lovely
I'm a writer.
That sentence might come as no surprise to you since you're in the space where I share my words every week. Or maybe because you have a similar space but this isn’t a sentence you’d use to describe yourself, you’re wondering how I can write those three little words and not immediately delete them. Maybe you think of yourself more as a photographer, an artist, or a creative, even though you also put words on the page as part of your work. Maybe you feel that the title isn’t for everyone, it’s just for people with published books and agents and literary prizes.
Maybe you think it’s okay for other people to say they’re writers - just not you.
I relate to those feelings completely and for a long time kept myself away from “writer” and attached myself to the much less frightening but still panic-inducing “someone who writes”. This week I’ve read two thought-provoking posts from women whose writing I enjoy. Earlier this week
wrote “I know I write…but am I a writer?” and then this morning shared a post entitled “I’m not a writer”. Both made me wonder why these women, who I definitely see as writers, don’t feel immediately and fully entitled to claim that title. It’s much easier to assign a title to someone else though, as we know. It wasn’t that obvious when I first thought about applying it to myself - I think we all balk at the idea to begin with, surely?The space between the act of writing and saying “I’m a writer” is, for most of us, a dark and scary place filled with well-known demons: imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and fear, to name a few. So, what is it about “writer” that makes us feel all sweaty-palmed and tense? And what would happen if we all claimed the title regardless of whether we felt ready or good enough? Do we have to wait for accolades or permission to be “a writer” instead of “someone who writes” or is it as simple as “if you write, you’re a writer”? As usual, I can’t provide all the answers. What I can do is share why I call myself a writer and hope that it encourages you to consider doing the same.
In
’s manifesto for creative living, Big Magic, she writes about the promise she made herself as a teenager: “I simply vowed to the universe that I would write forever, regardless of the result. I promised that I would try to be brave about it, and grateful, and as uncomplaining as I could possibly be.” Crucially, she didn't connect this promise to being a good writer or even a paid writer: she just committed to showing up and writing things down. She also didn’t vow to have perfect punctuation or impeccable grammar: she just committed to write and write and write again.When I first read that quote the idea of calling myself “a writer” felt so much more possible - I would just be making a promise to use my words and not any pressure-filled goals beyond that. It seems as though a large part of the discomfort we feel about calling ourselves writers is because, in claiming that title, we feel we're making a judgment about the quality of our work rather than just describing the work itself. When I call myself a writer I’m not simultaneously calling myself a good writer. My only job is to do the work and pass it on. That’s it. I’m focused on being the verb and not the noun: after all, a writer is someone taking part in the action of writing. It’s a doing word so I try to focus on the doing.
If we go with this definition then a writer is someone making a commitment to play with words, to craft sentences, to share ideas and stories. It’s you when you take part in the act of writing, respecting the craft but not so much that you think you’re not allowed to join in and give it a go. It’s me when I want to do my best but not so much that I stop myself from starting at all and sink into the jaws of perfectionism. It’s all of us.
At this stage, it seems inevitable that the I’m-not-good-enough demons will pop up again just when we were starting to feel good about the whole thing (sigh). So I figure we might as well invite them in, give them a cup of tea and a biscuit, and crack on regardless. I mean, what’s the alternative to feeling the fear and doing it anyway? A less creative life where the monsters have won, our voices are silenced and our stories remain untold. Hard pass on that one, thank you very much.
So, with all of that in mind, when I started this Substack, I decided that I would call myself a writer and see how it felt. Turns out it felt quite weird and initially a little fraudulent *passes out more biscuits to the demons* but now it feels affirming, liberating, and aspirational all at the same time. I am a writer. I also want to deserve the title by continually practising and improving my work. I want to keep trying to be a better writer but I will call myself a writer as I do that work along the way.
In the end, that’s the only thing that really matters: that we keep doing the work, sharing our stories and using our words. But if you want the title? Take it! It was already yours.
Let me know in the comments if you call yourself a writer, someone who writes, or something else altogether? I’d love to know!
Take good care
I think I’m somewhere between “I’m someone who writes” and “I’m a writer” and I’m trying to remind myself almost every day to tell myself that “I am a Writer!”. So thank you for the reminder! 😊
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