Sometimes I think it’s too late, the past is too ingrained to ever change. Also sometimes I think it’s too hard to try and make a change, make a voice heard to make a difference - almost it’s futile so what’s the point in additional angst and wasted toil. Maybe I just want to be, not be subservient but content -that might be from acceptance and understanding that we are where we are. Could I spend the time fighting a battle I actually might win 🤷🏻♀️
I understand what you mean, but I guess that it is never too late, we might not experience all the changes from speaking up from now on, but let's at least do it for the generations of women to come, so they don't have to struggle as much as we do.
First of all, thank you so much for starting this book club!
I'm finishing the book (yeah, a bit later than I planned, but it's ok) and I do want to try some of the exercises during a layover at the end of this month. I don't know why, but I find airports (not airplanes though) to be my most productive "outer" spaces...
PS: I was very enraged while reading part 1 of the book. I didn't realise how deep the problem was and, sadly, still very much is. But it's definitely good to know even through negative emotions.
Thank you so much for choosing Cassandra Speaks. This couldn't have come at a better time, and I've got so much from this.
I've just done the Do No Harm and Take No Shit meditation as I'm about to see my father and this is tricky.
I take Lesser's words with me 'you can expand your capacity to feel and empathize and give, even as you strengthen your muscles of discernment, self-respect and boundary setting.' - perfect for where I'm at!!
I think of my mother (who died 4 months ago) frightened of my father all her life, who quietened her voice, made everything smaller than it should have been, was 100% submissive to her husband and taught me it was our job to please our men and never to challenge them.
In contrast, on p28 Lesser writes, 'on Adam's face I read the story if men's inherited belief in their superiority and therefore their right - their role - to dominate '
I've spent a lot of time being angry for my past and the role of my parents and the church in it, and have been writing some deep trauma led memoir stuff. This quote from the book stopped me in my tracks and at first was difficult to read. I went back to it after a break and read it again....'To grow up is to admit that life is challenging and we are responsible for our own behaviour and for the well-being of one another.'
Time to put down the anger and blame I guess!
Lastly, as I catch the bus fromy Air BnB to Dad's this morning (I put a boundary in place and decided not to stay with him)I pray that I may become less blameful of others and more responsible for myself.
Thanks Charlene for this most excellent pick. I'm sure I'll have more to reflect on, but this book been a real gift to help me navigate a difficult time.
It was the second time I read the book and it amazed me as much as the first time on how we think it is normal that history is written mainly by men. And how different things would be if women had had a voice as well.
For me this book is the accellerator of speaking up and show that things in the world can be different if we are willing to slow down, to listen to womens wisdom and to be able to see that there are two genders in this world. That women cannot compete in the male dominated system and that we need something else. I guess one of the reasons there are more women experiencing burnout is the fact that they try to cope with this system and they can't keep up with this.
For me 2025 will be the year that I will speak more loudly. I have underlined a lot of quotes from the book, too many to share here, but I have been thinking about writing a blog about the book, since the first time I read it. So there is more contemplation coming from my side ;-)
Thank you @Charlene for opening up the conversation!
Sometimes I think it’s too late, the past is too ingrained to ever change. Also sometimes I think it’s too hard to try and make a change, make a voice heard to make a difference - almost it’s futile so what’s the point in additional angst and wasted toil. Maybe I just want to be, not be subservient but content -that might be from acceptance and understanding that we are where we are. Could I spend the time fighting a battle I actually might win 🤷🏻♀️
I understand what you mean, but I guess that it is never too late, we might not experience all the changes from speaking up from now on, but let's at least do it for the generations of women to come, so they don't have to struggle as much as we do.
First of all, thank you so much for starting this book club!
I'm finishing the book (yeah, a bit later than I planned, but it's ok) and I do want to try some of the exercises during a layover at the end of this month. I don't know why, but I find airports (not airplanes though) to be my most productive "outer" spaces...
PS: I was very enraged while reading part 1 of the book. I didn't realise how deep the problem was and, sadly, still very much is. But it's definitely good to know even through negative emotions.
Thank you so much for choosing Cassandra Speaks. This couldn't have come at a better time, and I've got so much from this.
I've just done the Do No Harm and Take No Shit meditation as I'm about to see my father and this is tricky.
I take Lesser's words with me 'you can expand your capacity to feel and empathize and give, even as you strengthen your muscles of discernment, self-respect and boundary setting.' - perfect for where I'm at!!
I think of my mother (who died 4 months ago) frightened of my father all her life, who quietened her voice, made everything smaller than it should have been, was 100% submissive to her husband and taught me it was our job to please our men and never to challenge them.
In contrast, on p28 Lesser writes, 'on Adam's face I read the story if men's inherited belief in their superiority and therefore their right - their role - to dominate '
I've spent a lot of time being angry for my past and the role of my parents and the church in it, and have been writing some deep trauma led memoir stuff. This quote from the book stopped me in my tracks and at first was difficult to read. I went back to it after a break and read it again....'To grow up is to admit that life is challenging and we are responsible for our own behaviour and for the well-being of one another.'
Time to put down the anger and blame I guess!
Lastly, as I catch the bus fromy Air BnB to Dad's this morning (I put a boundary in place and decided not to stay with him)I pray that I may become less blameful of others and more responsible for myself.
Thanks Charlene for this most excellent pick. I'm sure I'll have more to reflect on, but this book been a real gift to help me navigate a difficult time.
I hope you had a 'good' time with your dad and that the book helped you indeed to change perspective...
It was the second time I read the book and it amazed me as much as the first time on how we think it is normal that history is written mainly by men. And how different things would be if women had had a voice as well.
For me this book is the accellerator of speaking up and show that things in the world can be different if we are willing to slow down, to listen to womens wisdom and to be able to see that there are two genders in this world. That women cannot compete in the male dominated system and that we need something else. I guess one of the reasons there are more women experiencing burnout is the fact that they try to cope with this system and they can't keep up with this.
For me 2025 will be the year that I will speak more loudly. I have underlined a lot of quotes from the book, too many to share here, but I have been thinking about writing a blog about the book, since the first time I read it. So there is more contemplation coming from my side ;-)
Thank you @Charlene for opening up the conversation!